Prince Charming

People will always disagree on whether a Prince really exists or not, some say he does and they own him, others say he really is fiction and some say he is gay!!
The Twenty First Century would be ok with a gay Prince Charming but I am not as I am single and living in Limerick City.

Last week I decided to try speed dating, even the name makes it sound so impersonal but this is the way modern people (with no extra time) have decided to meet prince’s and in reality all the studies say that when a couple meet it only takes 30 seconds to decide if you are romantically compatible, so given six minutes I can decide the compatibility on his looks and use the other 330 seconds to pick flaws to determine why he’s not my Prince Charming.
But ever the optimist here is my first encounter!!!

I arrived at the venue to a greeting from a host who looks like she is ready to arm wrestle me to the ground to make sure I stay, I am handed a badge with my name and shown to a wooden table with a big number plaque in the center (This is how my Prince Charming will know who I am at the end). The rules are explained to all of us at our lonely tables waiting to be greeted by a sea of faces. We have six minutes to make someone fall in love with us and then the DONG from the bell will tell you that your Prince Charming is on to their next Cinderella!

First up was a boy not barely seventeen with a crooked nose and wearing what can only be described as a suit of sorts, I wonder did his mother dress him and send him here looking for a lonely old woman with money. Needless to say the six minute bell couldn’t come quick enough as the talk of school is years gone by for me and I was wondering whether I could be arrested for even entertaining the knowledge someone may want me to date this BOY!

Once the bell rings I note on my ‘chart’ that this is a NO.

I have thought hard about what to ask in six minutes so I have a list of subjects, Travel, Sports, Films and then the usual i.e., past relationship status (is he still married) and Socializing (so that if I know his ex and am scared I can tick no or if he drinks in a pub near me and may stalk me I am aware).

The second and third men both seem to blur into the distance and then there was HOPE!!
As I sat there for the fourth prince, he took a seat, instantly I felt my cheeks burn as he looked at me and that spark was alight, we talked about everything on my list and just seemed to click till he asked me the last question?

What do you do for a living?

Hugh (what a grown up name) said he worked in business and trying to be funny I retorted that I was much interested in taking up the work of Julia Roberts in the film Pretty Woman. At first glance I saw his face register what I said and I tried to reiterate that I meant ‘hooking up with rich guys as opposed to being a high class call girl’ but the bell had rung before it came out of my mouth and Hugh had taken up residence with a blonde haired beauty sitting opposite me.

The rest of the night was a washout for me, each one came and went but none were like Hugh and even had I got over their uni-brow or facial twitch I knew I would not give these men 4 or 5 hours of my precious time to take me to dinner and try talk me out of my lonely existence (one my mother perpetually tells me everyday will only ever see me lonely with no children, lots of cats and eventually a lonely death) so that he can talk about himself and then expect to get in my pants!
So for this week you can stick a fork in me, I am done!