Perfect Date

Hello Singletons my dating drought ended, so burst out those brollie’s cause I had a blind date.

I have always set my standards high and although few meet them I am not a picky person.
I believe in fairytales and that traditionally love is, Boy meets girls, girl bats eyelids, boy falls in love with girl, girls already loves boy, boy buys huge diamond and both live happily ever after.
Now I wonder where does my story go wrong cause this is yet to happen me!!!

Now I need to not only find my Mr. Right but my Mr. Perfect-for-me in-spite-of-my-high-standards, so reluctantly I agreed to my FIRST blind date!
I was all out of excuses and seemingly washing my hair and pulling my fingernails out just doesn’t cut it after your 25th birthday, when you’re still single.

So I was being open minded about this, about as open as Jodie Marsh’s legs!

Mel, my friend told me about Dan, who is cute, funny, business orientated (I think this was a way of saying he actually had a job) and wanted to meet me after seeing my drunken picture’s in her photo album, (I wondered did he think I was easy, as I am normally not that drunk and waving my legs in the air, looking like some kind of acrobat).
She had railroaded me into this date by passing compliments my way and because I am so utterly lacking in affection I eventually decided to give it a go.
She had screeched loudly at my acceptance and hugged me so tightly I thought a blood vessel in my head might burst. She kept saying she couldn’t believe how perfect a match we were!! I am sure if he was that perfect, I wouldn’t even need to meet him and she could just go ahead and arrange the wedding but I had accepted and this was my fate.

I arrived to dinner dressed to the nines (I was looking rather edible myself) to be greeted by a man that obviously used the whole bottle of hair gel on the 10 remaining hairs on his head. Instantly I tried to back away but I was like a deer caught in the headlights and had to make do with this evening.
To be fair, he was kind and considerate and always spoke so highly…..….. of HIMSELF.
He was one of those people that through out the night he spoke continuously about himself not even stopping for a second to ask a question in my direction. It wasn’t until after the dinner, when he firmly planted his hand on my knee like an unwanted tumor that I just couldn’t take any more. I needed to leave and I needed to do it fast.
I started talking about my imaginary boyfriend whom I actually told him was imaginary and was residing in my subconscious, he looked like Vin Diesel but that I wouldn’t let him out tonight because I was sick of doing both voices. At this Dan has removed his hand and was making an immediate exit from the restaurant.

Blind dates really aren’t much fun unless you enjoy pulling teeth out with pliers.

But worse than that, was the relay from Mel the following day on how Dan had a great time but a) he wasn’t in a relationship frame of mind and b) he was moving to Romania to work for a hospital with rare diseases and didn’t want me to catch anything. Obviously he had told her my ‘boyfriend’ story and for fear of hurting me or asking was it true, she relayed his excuses.

So my advice for Blind Dates are DON’T, ‘Two wrongs don’t make a MR. Right’

So in future when my attached friend tells me she has the perfect guy for me I will refuse and when she rolls her eyes and tuts in annoyance I will tell her….
I am Single, not Terminally ill and I can do this my way and some day I will have a Monsoon (“,)